A Cup of Comfort for New Mothers by Colleen Sell

Author:Colleen Sell
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Adams Media, Inc.
Published: 2009-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

For Crying Out Loud

What is wrong with my baby? I thought, as yet another family member thrust him into my arms after numerous attempts to calm him down. I hurriedly carried PJ upstairs to allow the family to continue their visit in peace.

Feelings of guilt, embarrassment, and shame overwhelmed me as I sunk further and further into what would soon be identified as postpartum depression. I longed for PJ’s first visit to the pediatrician so I could inform her that the hospital had mistakenly given me the wrong baby. My baby was sweet and happy and loved to cuddle. I’m not sure whose baby I’d brought home, but I was intent on taking him back and demanding a refund.

To my dismay, the first visit to Doctor Lauren did little to allay my anxiety. That night, I lay in bed and stared at the copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting on my bookshelf, thinking, They should include a disclaimer that none of these so-called pearls of wisdom apply if you happen to have a baby with colic.

So it was that my darling little PJ had what may have been the nastiest case of colic to ever grace the pages of medical journals. I reached this conclusion around the seventh time I heard the claim, “I have never seen a baby like this.” After hours of futile conversation leading only to more questions and countless calls to the doctor to plead my case that something must be done, I convinced myself to accept the diagnosis and began the arduous journey of surviving the first few months of my newborn son’s life.

Two weeks passed at a painfully slow pace, but at least the postpartum depression seemed to be running its course. Despite my apprehension, the antidepressants really were a necessity. I’d also discontinued nursing to help restore my physical health. My appetite returned, and at that point, my struggles were confined mostly to incessant teeth grinding and a lack of sleep, both of which I could manage.

PJ’s colic, however, had complete control over almost every aspect of my life. I quickly became an expert on the matter and felt certain I could write a book. I fielded endless questions and tried tirelessly to convince others of the severity of the case, frustrated with good intentions that offered little solace. Though I recognized the need of others to “fix” the problem, I was certain if I heard the phrase, “Have you tried . ” one more time, I would snap and hurl my frustration and rage at the closest innocent victim. I had, indeed, tried everything. I switched formula four times. I moved PJ from carrier to swing to stroller to bouncer to just about anything I could find that swayed or vibrated. I watched The Happiest Baby on the Block and tried all five of the S-techniques. I swaddled, side-lied, swayed, and shushed, and PJ sucked pacifier after pacifier. I soon realized that everything worked for about five minutes at a time—and that, during those brief moments, PJ was merely reloading for Round Two.

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